Yes, I teach.

If, after everything you read about or by me, you are still considering learning anything from me or allowing me to teach someone you know and care about, I feel you must be congratulated for allowing yourself to be possessed by the most undaunted courage.

I teach English - language, literature, as a foreign language, as a native language, as a literary, beautiful, baffling and bedazzling language - to learners aged 6 - 96, although I may consider applications from outside this range.

I teach for exams, for pleasure, for the wonderful wandering of the adventurous mind. I usually charge for my teaching.

I am qualified to help dyslexic children learn how to read, write and organise their learning. As a special needs tutor, I have worked with the most amazing people who have taught me more than I taught them.

I have taught Business English and public speaking for the corporate world, and as far as I know, no FTSE 100 company has gone under as a result of it. But maybe they were polite.

I teach other things too, like creative writing or critical thinking. Quick scrolling I don’t have to teach - all of my students already vastly surpass my prowess in this area. I might have to start teaching Newspeak the way the world is going, but I am nothing if not adaptable.

I currently work exclusively from the confines of my home office, but stranger changes of mind have happened.

In any case, if you’re interested in my teaching or would like to suggest I give it up, I’m one quick message away. Please bear in mind that I am usually fully booked at least one year in advance, so satisfaction, while I like to believe is guaranteed, will not be immediate.